|
|
Post by northcoast on Apr 7, 2016 7:31:49 GMT -6
Oh man. Mine was 5 in January and we are still trying to get him to wipe his butt so there is that.
As to holding it in, been there. I like to try to incorporate gummy bear fiber into the equation to make him have to go. And then there was a few times where we tried suppositories but that didn't work at all. Lets see, the reward chart, where you get something after you go a couple times in a row. That worked ok.
When it was really obvious that he had to go and would not go I ended up making him sit on the potty for awhile with a book and sometimes he would go. I think another thing is that when you can tell he has to go, dont say anything and just calmly pick him up and set him on the pot. No dialog, just put him on calmly and try to keep him there for a little bit. Seems like if you do that a few times, then they inadvertently poop and feel better....the light starts coming on.
And negotiating is BS. At some point we had to stop talking about it and just put him on the pot. Somehow the relation between " I gotta poop" and "I gotta sit on the potty" needs to be wired in that tiny little brain.
|
|
|
|
Post by gaseousclay on Jan 13, 2017 16:01:12 GMT -6
got another parenting question for you fellers. my boy is at his spoiled rotten phase, and part of that is my fault because I ultimately give in and keep buying him stuff. it's now at the point where I can no longer take him to places like Target because he has a complete meltdown if I don't buy him the latest Transformers toy.
How do you guys combat this? I've tried a number of times to tell my son that if I keep buying him toys i'll have no money left to buy him toys in the future. but, I think I foolishly equate buying him stuff with making him happy. he's got more damned toys than he needs and at the rate i've been buying him toys he'll damn near have every Transformers toy in existence. I justify these purchases by telling myself they're not expensive, which they're not. But over time it adds up.
|
|
|
|
Post by northcoast on Jan 13, 2017 17:40:18 GMT -6
got another parenting question for you fellers. my boy is at his spoiled rotten phase, and part of that is my fault because I ultimately give in and keep buying him stuff. it's now at the point where I can no longer take him to places like Target because he has a complete meltdown if I don't buy him the latest Transformers toy. How do you guys combat this? I've tried a number of times to tell my son that if I keep buying him toys i'll have no money left to buy him toys in the future. but, I think I foolishly equate buying him stuff with making him happy. he's got more damned toys than he needs and at the rate i've been buying him toys he'll damn near have every Transformers toy in existence. I justify these purchases by telling myself they're not expensive, which they're not. But over time it adds up. I had and still have (he's just turned 6 this week) conversations in the house before we go or in the car going there and in the store, about not getting something every time we go somewhere. Of course you have to stop first but just work on changing the expectation. Forget about reasoning, just let it be known that from now on he will not be getting something every time you go somewhere and re-inforce it BEFORE you get to the store so that the expectation is (re)set. One of my next kid projects is trying to explain the ideas of what and when its appropriate to ask servers for things. He will ask for anything of them at any time. BOL |
|
|
|
Post by gaseousclay on Jan 13, 2017 17:47:07 GMT -6
Believe me, i've told my boy repeatedly that we're not going to the store to buy anything but lately it's been full temper tantrum mode and I give in because I don't want him making a scene. Now I've decided I can't take him anymore because of the meltdowns. He even asks me if I bought him any new toys when he comes and stays with me.
|
|
|
|
Post by exophobe on Jan 13, 2017 21:20:41 GMT -6
got another parenting question for you fellers. my boy is at his spoiled rotten phase, and part of that is my fault because I ultimately give in and keep buying him stuff. it's now at the point where I can no longer take him to places like Target because he has a complete meltdown if I don't buy him the latest Transformers toy. How do you guys combat this? I've tried a number of times to tell my son that if I keep buying him toys i'll have no money left to buy him toys in the future. but, I think I foolishly equate buying him stuff with making him happy. he's got more damned toys than he needs and at the rate i've been buying him toys he'll damn near have every Transformers toy in existence. I justify these purchases by telling myself they're not expensive, which they're not. But over time it adds up. Enact a one in one/two out rule like so many of us should have done in the early Gustin days. Teach him that he can have new things, but that also means he needs to sacrifice to get them. I don't know if that would work with a child, but some modification has to be out there. |
|
|
|
Post by ickes on Jan 31, 2017 10:47:04 GMT -6
gaseousclay I agree with northcoast, forget reasoning and just be firm and say we aren't getting anything and stick to your guns. that's it. cut and dry. When he throws his next tantrum just walk out of the store. I have a 15 and a 10 year old, I've been in your shoes.
|
|
|
|
Post by alphatectz on Jan 31, 2017 23:06:00 GMT -6
Believe me, i've told my boy repeatedly that we're not going to the store to buy anything but lately it's been full temper tantrum mode and I give in because I don't want him making a scene. Now I've decided I can't take him anymore because of the meltdowns. He even asks me if I bought him any new toys when he comes and stays with me. You have to lay down the rules. Don't give in to your son. I have a 4yr old and a 2yr old. Both are giving me and my wife issues. My daughter the 2 year old gets mad if we don't give her enough attention. My son gets upset at school when he does something wrong. With my son we learned to help him cope with what had happen (for ex: he spilled some blueberries at his school and got upset. I took him to the side and told him that it was ok. It was a mistake. Mistake happens. Well get more later, then he began his tantrum, but then stopped once I told him that he has to behave in school. If not he won't be allowed to go to kindergarten.) my wife just laughs, but she likes how I'm coping with our son. Now back to my daughter. The little pain in the ass. I have to blame her tantrums on my mother, mother in law and my wife. They spoil the crap out of her. HELP! |
|
|
|
Post by gaseousclay on Feb 1, 2017 8:01:21 GMT -6
i'm still trying to lay down rules but it's a work in progress. my son still asks me to go to places like Target and I keep telling him no. I'll take him to a thrift store instead which may be a temporary band-aid because he still wants stuff. the upside to thriftstores, stuff is far cheaper. the other day I took him to Goodwill and we scored the Transformers motherload. I got him 3 Transformers toys for $10, which at Target would've only gotten me 1 overpriced Transformer toy. I'm trying to get him out for my physical activities but he seems resistent, whereas, when he's with his mom he's more likely to go. I think he just associates going to the store with me and doing activities with his mom.
another weird thing, my son woke up the other morning really upset to the point where he was crying. of course, he had a bad dream and when I asked him about it he said, "in my dream you told me you wouldn't make Mac N Cheese for me anymore." I couldn't believe how upset this made him but I had to reassure him that it was just a dream.
|
|
|
|
Post by alphatectz on Feb 1, 2017 8:34:38 GMT -6
i'm still trying to lay down rules but it's a work in progress. my son still asks me to go to places like Target and I keep telling him no. I'll take him to a thrift store instead which may be a temporary band-aid because he still wants stuff. the upside to thriftstores, stuff is far cheaper. the other day I took him to Goodwill and we scored the Transformers motherload. I got him 3 Transformers toys for $10, which at Target would've only gotten me 1 overpriced Transformer toy. I'm trying to get him out for my physical activities but he seems resistent, whereas, when he's with his mom he's more likely to go. I think he just associates going to the store with me and doing activities with his mom. another weird thing, my son woke up the other morning really upset to the point where he was crying. of course, he had a bad dream and when I asked him about it he said, "in my dream you told me you wouldn't make Mac N Cheese for me anymore." I couldn't believe how upset this made him but I had to reassure him that it was just a dream. You should have a talk with his mother. She has to lay down the rules and not give in to what your son wants or wants to do. |
|
|
|
Post by gaseousclay on Feb 1, 2017 9:02:35 GMT -6
i'm still trying to lay down rules but it's a work in progress. my son still asks me to go to places like Target and I keep telling him no. I'll take him to a thrift store instead which may be a temporary band-aid because he still wants stuff. the upside to thriftstores, stuff is far cheaper. the other day I took him to Goodwill and we scored the Transformers motherload. I got him 3 Transformers toys for $10, which at Target would've only gotten me 1 overpriced Transformer toy. I'm trying to get him out for my physical activities but he seems resistent, whereas, when he's with his mom he's more likely to go. I think he just associates going to the store with me and doing activities with his mom. another weird thing, my son woke up the other morning really upset to the point where he was crying. of course, he had a bad dream and when I asked him about it he said, "in my dream you told me you wouldn't make Mac N Cheese for me anymore." I couldn't believe how upset this made him but I had to reassure him that it was just a dream. You should have a talk with his mother. She has to lay down the rules and not give in to what your son wants or wants to do. she actually does lay down rules. to be clear, she doesn't take him to stores like I do. i'm trying to do the same things my son does with his mom, like go out sledding, or go to an indoor gym. it's mainly to get him tired so he'll nap. I think our son is at a stage now where he's testing boundaries with both of us. my ex told me the other day that our son peed on the wall in her bathroom, whereas, he's never done this with me. |
|
|
|
Post by alphatectz on Feb 1, 2017 9:07:58 GMT -6
You should have a talk with his mother. She has to lay down the rules and not give in to what your son wants or wants to do. she actually does lay down rules. to be clear, she doesn't take him to stores like I do. i'm trying to do the same things my son does with his mom, like go out sledding, or go to an indoor gym. it's mainly to get him tired so he'll nap. I think our son is at a stage now where he's testing boundaries with both of us. my ex told me the other day that our son peed on the wall in her bathroom, whereas, he's never done this with me. I see. How old is he (I know you stated it in the OP) my son and daughter try to test me and my wife. We are learning just to calm them down or put them on timeout until they are calm. |
|
|
|
Post by gaseousclay on Feb 1, 2017 9:12:51 GMT -6
she actually does lay down rules. to be clear, she doesn't take him to stores like I do. i'm trying to do the same things my son does with his mom, like go out sledding, or go to an indoor gym. it's mainly to get him tired so he'll nap. I think our son is at a stage now where he's testing boundaries with both of us. my ex told me the other day that our son peed on the wall in her bathroom, whereas, he's never done this with me. I see. How old is he (I know you stated it in the OP) my son and daughter try to test me and my wife. We are learning just to calm them down or put them on timeout until they are calm. He's 3.5 almost 4 |
|
|
|
Post by alphatectz on Feb 1, 2017 9:26:06 GMT -6
I see. How old is he (I know you stated it in the OP) my son and daughter try to test me and my wife. We are learning just to calm them down or put them on timeout until they are calm. He's 3.5 almost 4 Sounds about right. He's at that stage. The terrible 3s / 4s. My son is finally whining down, but my daughter is handful. |
|
